Some issues in the internet experience of the average person seem to point out to necessary updates.

After completing a course on Instruction Design and recording videos for my own proposal of pedagogical materials to be used, I figured the public wasn’t going to see anything I put out and it was unlikely that people paid any attention if I didn’t write about general topics. That’s always been the complicated balance between the fluency and the participation, here on this blog. For learners, it’s an opportunity; for most people, it’s a shock of reality — but depending on who you ask, it’s more of the same and just common sense in a poorly articulated text.

This awareness made me want to mature a few concepts in my mind and present to you a more ambitious proposal, which has to do with all things I learned about the internet in its interweaving with society, whether it’s the school level, the family relationships, the friendship bonds, the every day activities offered and denied. And it’s important to consider these two realms: allowed and not allowed.

I’ll try to write down my biggest themes, which I think we probably need to be talking about with more references and more carefulness, not to mention respect:

1. Difference
2. Consent
3. Opportunity
4. Available time
5. Priorities
6. Values
7. Upbringing
8. Language
9. Mental health
10. Security

Difference is recognizing the other and seeing their unique characteristics.

Rather than a world marked by sameness and patterns explored to extreme saturation, where nobody competes to bring something new to our world and everything stays in a predetermined way, we go online to meet people who have some special quality. We may look for mutual interests, that’s true; we may have a better experience scrolling through things we are expecting, and not the chaos of internet discussions where one offends the other, and the more you look, the more people are doing it to everybody else; but we can’t live by ourselves on the internet, since it was designed to make you seek out whatever you want that’s going to take you from where you are and lead you to a different place. Some people say it’s an escape from reality; they miss out on the beautiful fact that you can meet a stranger and make an everlasting bond, or at least one that makes your life more enjoyable for a durable period, and not just a few seconds or minutes. Different concepts, different areas of knowledge, different cultures: they make the internet what it is and gather people together to see what’s unusual, different than most of the stuff you see out there, different than your every day life. We don’t want to say what we think and be confronted with a different perspective. That’s uncomfortable, but it may happen. We do want to share something that’s bothering us, and find someone with a different outlook, telling us to focus on something else. If you think you’re ugly, someone will think you’re beautiful. If you think you’re uninteresting, someone will spend hours listening to you. That’s what people learned to expect from a globally connected network, and the way it’s organized should let us know that cooperation is a beautiful thing, where one perspective is completed by another, each part forming a more genuine whole. Creativity was on demand many years ago and maybe it has always been. The internet maximized that potential, so we need to understand that there’s almost a need to be surprised by what we see while navigating it. From design choices to content strategy and brand voice, it’s whatever strikes you as a “differential” that will stand out, and be praised, then embraced. Parallel to that is something that society at its core would maybe not accept, but is being pointed out as the way forward, which is inclusion initiatives and “diversity programs”. Difference is welcome. That can lead to many kinds of analyses, but it should be the starting point of a debate about what the internet is. Especially because, regardless of how much you wanna make your profiles look like your real self, they’re different things, and that needs to be clear for people and for yourself — while it may be less so for a certain generation.

Consent is a broad concept, but without it, nothing can really work out

While speaking about relationships, it’s common to hear the word consent, or consensual, to classify them. This means that whatever happened in between two people, it was in a pre-established manner, where one party agreed to the terms of what another proposed. In practical terms, it means that the person is okay with something, and approves of it, whether it’s seeing an intimate picture or, in a completely different context, being available to work at a given time, because it was pre-established and agreed upon. This also means that companies require our consent a lot and usually do so in ways that hide what exactly is being asked of us. The data, they’ll say, is to simplify things. But who the hell says that’s simple? A common definition says that data is facts, statistics and information collected about us. What facts? Anything that’s possible to report and record is then a fact? Here’s a fact: we all want to use the internet. But does that mean we welcome all possible interactions that may come from it? No, that is simply not the case. So again, what facts? And notice how we may consent to the collection of information, but not to the exchange between people who might be called “lurkers” or “stalkers”. For lack of a better word, “creeps”. To go a little further requires asking whether or not the companies collecting data might be called that: Google doesn’t have to lurk — it has our consent; Google is the guest in our home, in our bed. But in some situations, people use the word consent because a real life situation requires the categorization of non-consensual. This often means you’re trying to classify a situation of abuse, often sexual, but not strictly related to it, as we’ll be reminded when our boss makes a penalty for us being late for work, while it was agreed upon that we would be there by the time required. We consent for the use of biometrics and facial recognition in the banking systems, without knowing how the data is going to be used. We consent to relationships of short span with people who are not within our age range, a great contradiction in society, and while we forget to think about the causes for a situation where we might feel inclined to do so, we then claim that we didn’t consent to anything, or rather, didn’t have the ability to consent, while we were perfectly capable in the eyes of big tech. Advertising is an exercise of non-consensual presentation being shown to us. Low wages are the same. And so it becomes important that we draw clear lines of what we’re okay with, and what we’re not — and just in case, to say the reasons why, so we can get better services in the future and society in general works towards fixing problems and respecting everyone’s freedom to say no.

We talk about equal opportunities in the media. The world gives us a different answer.

Very early, we learn that some kids have access to more stuff than us. It could be that they watch a show we’ve never heard of because it’s a premium stream; it might be a video game; it might be a phone. If we focus on the technological aspect, we’re going to find a lot of kids who learn how to deal with technology very soon, and maybe others will turn to books, but we know that’s not the case: culture is denied to them at all times, and they have nothing but home chores and staying put on the couch as a task to be fulfilled. And eventually, they’re gonna need some freedom. It’s only natural that it’s happening faster. They don’t have social media for actual kids, but if they did, it would be sad and revolting to see what kinds of things they’re sharing with one another. That’s because teens are the same, and as you grow older, you realize that the school bullies are now being called great leaders on LinkedIn, for their brand of ethics that humiliates those who don’t beat the goals and celebrating worker-machines who do everything on time and suck up to their bosses, sometimes even to the point of sexual suggestions or a step further, to get ahead in their careers. I’ve seen all of that and a bit more. But the constant is that social programs can provide opportunity for all, to have a decent living standard, first and foremost, and then, at the institutional level, curators and teachers, counselors and doctors, entrepreneurs and coaches, all have a role that they play in providing people with a pathway that, if not deviated from the purpose of helping people, can benefit society for good, informing them about the process in the long run. That’s how inclusivity takes place in the work place, and that’s how the future of work should look at the people who are, indeed, trying their best. If helping people is your priority, you should be given a chance to act upon it. If you want to build something for your own riches, good luck with that. But social projects everywhere involve the community in the sense that the person representing it will inevitably think of their struggles, and so it may be violence or unsafe streets or noise or any kind of disturbance in your neighborhood, but it may as well be a lack of opportunity for people to grow, in a zone where nothing happens and you have to chase work miles away from your home. Remote work brought many possibilities, but it’s also a hell of a competitive scale of business. When people talk about opportunity now, they’re talking about the global markets and the businesses setting the stage for technological transformations and industry standards that will shape how society organizes, and leaders need the vision to think of what impacts whom, and how to make things positive for the largest number of people. The other few will have to manage their lives in a way that is either dependent on aid or micro-productive, make an income and get enough for their livelihoods to be preserved, while being pressured to do so and facing many challenges, including injustice and the many times they were denied an opportunity, even in the case of defending themselves on social media. This is broad and complex, but there are no agents of opportunity knocking on your door, just people selling courses.

Time is money. And money is food and bills.

I know everyone wants to buy new electronics. We don’t need to talk about stock giants to make a point. The internet offered us a myriad possibilities and we’re still wrapping our heads around just how much content is available on the web, but people? Forget about meeting people, that’s prohibited. And yet, the most time we spend online is trying to find interesting people, minorly competing with the time we spend trying to find interesting stuff. Eventually, we find people who suck, and never wanna go through the same shit again, so we shut ourselves and miss, to reiterate an earlier point, a lot of opportunities. But the amounts time we spend looking at screens are translating to all of the time we’re awake, and we don’t stop to think about stuff that needs to be done unless we act like adults or an adult is supervising us, instead. Time spent on educating ourselves is easily replaced with cheap entertainment, often distasteful, often borderline offensive and damaging to the fabric of society. But we don’t go there because people who make a living out of viral content on the internet are considered geniuses of marketing and creation, so their fanbases will chase us if we make even a slightly disapproving comment. Not even sarcasm is allowed, they require explanations for everything you say. And one of the things we don’t wanna do is spend time with trolls. That’s one of the general survival tactics of the web. But we’re not fighting for survival, are we? It’s just an enhancement of real life possibilities, right? Whatever be the case, it’s worth noting that algorithms now determine, and have been determining for a few years, what we see and predicting what we’ll consume next, making tailored lists and even predicting our chance to like a video and then generating revenue from maybe purchasing a product, subscribing to a monetized channel and following people on social media. Companies, however, play a different game: their reputation is on the line, and people love to spend time complaining about stuff. A certain personality in tech once described himself as “hotline operator” for a service that he and his team sold as the global town square of debate. Of course, behind that, is the fact that many town squares are occupied by teenage drinkers and pot smokers who listen to music on their phones and wanna get laid, but never mind that — and the fact that the website has recently allowed adult content on the platform. It matters to say that, if you wanna start a business, you need a lot of focus and research, besides the experience from prior ventures. We’re not talking about venture capital here, we’re talking about small acts that define the impact of your brand, and will convert at a rate you’re happy with by the end of each month. Understanding these things, and spending time searching for how to perfect your crafts and skills is incredibly important, and so distractions, the internet’s biggest token, are supposed to be ranked down, not up. What are people doing? Feeding the AI with implicit approval of content that makes them get stuck on a loop of irrelevance. People need jobs, because they have bills to pay. It costs to live. And the conditions of labor are getting worse. You have to really excel on a field to reach an authoritative position, and if you spend your day trolling, sexting and seeing memes, you’re going nowhere but to the kitchen to grab your mac and cheese — if your parents like you.

Setting priorities is something very personal. Technology is supposed to help us, not act like a character judge.

In most social media, you have to say what you’re interested in right when you create an account. Facebook is a rare exception: you just wanna be online, and have your own personal identity represented somewhere. People all over the world decided Facebook was that place, and so a community of billions of users formed. Today, we have algorithms defining what we may like based on stuff we’ve liked before, but the initial steps are adding friends and they track them down with your contacts list. Then, as you interact, the new stuff comes up. This is nothing new. But the more recent approach to social media takes specific interests, like art, technology, and so on, and then specific parts of art and technology, like paintings, and further, 19th century paintings, doing the same with technology, suggesting startup news and specific companies you might want to keep track of. The problem starts to appear when the stuff we like is counterposed with stuff we’ll likely not enjoy, or suggestions of people we’ve never thought about following, and for a reason. They want to push the most popular accounts for us, but sometimes, they even push people who have a small following but some kind of mysterious relationship with us or the platform, as seen on Instagram, a bizarre experiment in terms of suggestions of follows. Today, it’s common to hear phrases like “training the AI”. But our most personal moments are supposed to be personal, not property of a technology company. It took a lot of cheekiness to advance in marketing models to reach what we have today, where your likes determine who you are and “Google knows you better than yourself”. But it takes an effort in the opposite direction to break away from how technology controls our lives and see that the priorities are in the real world, where our most immediate needs need to be met, and where we’ll actually meet people — if not talking to them, cross them by the street and wonder who they are.

Everyone has a certain set of beliefs that should be respected, but tolerance walks a fine line with content moderation in place.

If the internet represents freedom, it also represents consequence. The lack of thought put into a statement offered to your audience may damage your entire reputation, and it’s just one click to send the post. While some try to be more careful, others act in a more relaxed manner, only giving attention to behavior when it’s completely out of control — because that catches everyone’s attention, on or offline. But it’s safe to say that people of all backgrounds can find representation and connection with peers, people who think like them, and who they would like to follow. Having the same values is something that we find out slowly, but the machine knows who you’re likely to find and will recommend certain people for you to follow, as previously mentioned. Debating these values is not really the same thing. There’s an immense toll in putting your thoughts out in the public eye, especially if you’re commenting on someone’s post and everyone else who follows them has the habit of scrolling the comment section. A lot of people do that, and interactions can be chaotic, a better word for disrespectful. When you find people with the same values on a network, you’ll find, for example, people who share a lot of their lives and don’t wanna be bothered, because they feel alone. In a controversial game with social media, they share and share, never to be given attention to, and keep doing the same thing every day like it’s mandatory, but that’s actually a trap of our consciousness. It’s perfectly fine to scroll the internet and not hit the like button, not comment and not share. But if we do share, and we share a lot, we’d like to be respected. People kinda sold the internet as an extension of our own space. The personal computer was called that because the idea was to make people have a sense of ownership. But as the internet evolved and more “creators” came into light and potentially the rest of the people who were too tired to do the playbook thing got shunned down, the sense of collective became the most widely accepted notion when you talk about the internet: it’s free, and it’s for everyone. To remind people, Facebook’s motto was “it’s free, and it will always be” — until, of course, creators were booming and the only way to have visibility was to pay for it, and this is more or less where we are, except that a lot of companies got into the game and offer us marketing services every day. Privacy as a value is a complicated thing to discuss. Social media did configure a “private” user experience, and so did browsers and other software, but in reality, everyone wants to be in the know and kind of expect privacy to be broken, on either end. The suspicion that comes with it explains why an entire generation of internet users don’t feel comfortable having any kind of conversation, which people fail to address time and time again. To learn how to trust is something precious, but that got wasted when the values of exposing culture and revenge became more and more widespread. If anything, the world looks at global issues and organizes for causes, but that’s a complicated territory that other people may be more fit to talk about, involving activism and fighting for causes. Individually, a lot of values have transformed, and it’s difficult to address who wants to bring them back in the same room as someone who wants a new world to be born, often with more freedom instead of more control, something that scarred many people as they were growing up.

Everybody grows old. Not everybody grows up.

We all have a different set of rules and norms that we follow in the home we live in, at school, during our first experiences with the real world. We may not like it, but it’s good to eat green stuff. It’s not always something we’d like to do, but it’s a good habit to make the bed, to do the laundry is an actual need and maybe to fold your clothes is a bit unnecessary, especially if you have hangers, but we do it anyway either to keep ourselves busy or to maintain an impression of orderliness. And then we learn that other people just throw their clothes in a corner and apparently that’s fine. And that they’re rewarded, somehow. It doesn’t seem fair. The buddy who has the latest video game doesn’t even do the dishes. The girl never cooked a meal or bought something in the market, but she’s gonna get a new phone for Christmas. And they don’t care who we talk to, as long as we don’t bring stress to the house. Parents fail in keeping their kids’ lives under scrutiny, not because of authority, but because of guidance that is needed. And so many of the people who were teenagers when social media started to appear and become a thing have problems addressing their issues with their friends and family, and the very notion of friends and family is confronted with things that they see on the web about personality and character. They question everything, including themselves, on a daily basis, and that’s apparently fine. They don’t realize it doesn’t have to be like that, and that they’re being sucked into the cult of productivity that capitalist societies have increasingly or not imposed upon people (I play with the idea because by now many of us have opinions on whether capitalism is good or not, but in terms of productivity, you’d have to look at each industry). We work, and we take things personally while on the job. How many times have you found a request inappropriate or were not willing to cooperate with your superior when you were asked to do something, or did you have another point of view which you couldn’t explain, and that stopped you from doing your best job? Character shapes relationships at work. A lot of the empathy we see in motivational books isn’t seen in the workplace, where there are specific and clear rules to be followed, systems to control workflow, payrolls and meetings to be run by the leaders. They’re the ones who do the talking. What if someone has a suggestion of activity that benefits the interpersonal bonds within teams? They’re likely not to be heard. And that could be a happy hour. Some people don’t drink. Some people have problems with drinking like addiction, others can’t because of prescribed medication or sickness, but let’s say they can take an orange juice; they’re likely to feel anxious about being in a different environment with their workmates, because one of the principles established in the interview process was that your personality wasn’t going to be judged, your skills were. But things change, don’t they? And suddenly you’re the quiet one, but you heard everything that was being said. You process that as you can, and you move on with your life. You go back home, and things are different. People want to know where you were, and you forgot to send a message or maybe your phone died. And so you missed dinner with the family. Are they going to judge you because you made an effort to participate in your company’s activities or support you when you say you just had some extra work stuff to do? Maybe you’ll hear that if you’re having a hard time to focus (since you’re dizzy), you should take some vitamins. Without mentioning the kinds of problems these situations may lead to in terms of romantic relationships, it’s easy to infer that some people will not be able to see the full picture, simply because they’re not you. But you have to separate those who can try, and those who will never. If you do everything you can to make a good impression, or say, contribute with society, and people still fail to see it and acknowledge it, you have a right to be an ass. But it’s also a responsibility not to become one, for the rest of your life.

It turns out that asking where someone’s from is a good thing.

We’ve been exposed to situations where asking about someone’s nationality was considered normal. Until the conversation was supposed to go from there to somewhere else. And not for lack of proficiency, we had to abandon ship. Connection lost, I’ll never see you again. Just like that, strangers used to meet each other, and take for granted the beauty of social encounters with people from all over the globe. It became a matter of who looked good, not whether or not that person had learned a second language in order to be able to talk to you. An effort that takes an entire life, if you really wanna experience it fully. Communication was simplified, arguably, when English became a standard for international situations and events around the world, from government to corporate level, and then later, in the information distributed by media channels and independents. More and more people learned how to speak the language, but they couldn’t find things to talk about. If you were a single mom, it was hard to find a group for single moms who were having some issues, and you’d rarely look them up in English. If you were a student of any area, discussions were limited to your campus, and you didn’t have an exchange program put into place to make you meet people from different cultures and traditions. If you were a teenager wanting to learn more about a game, you’d have to read a review and maybe, later on, watch a commented play through that some journalist made — an effort to be taken seriously, but which hasn’t really. English was supposed to bring people together, but it was used for many purposes on the web. So maybe it’s not the language. Maybe it’s the web. If you isolate native languages being spoken and the context of each country, you’ll have a completely different picture. That’s why it’s important to ask where someone’s from, and then following up with a question like “and what is it like to live there?” They might appreciate your interest, and you’re certainly going to learn a bit. But international conversation is in decline, with moderation tactics put into place and agendas that limit people’s ability to exchange thoughts and ideas, let alone demonstrate feelings and have fun. In my time, learning languages was not only fun, but very important. But as the years mounted, I was disappointed at user behavior and had to look at my own and wonder what I could do better. It turns out that each person is more or less sensitive to certain kinds of language: while some wouldn’t mind to talk about certain themes, other would find it a question worthy of a block or a report. It’s this lack of understanding of what people want when opening up to the entire world, which speaks one common language and seeks for the most basic human needs, that needs to be defended and taught so that we can better understand society and organize ourselves better, while seeking out for bigger values too, as we get along and get to know each other, something that might come with time and patience, not to mention kindness.

People are struggling with mental health issues on a global scale, on edge and ready to snap or cry.

One of the professions most on the rise is that of a coach. A person who can make sense of the world and help you navigate through your difficulties with ease and clarity, explaining hard processes to you, what the brain does to ourselves, how groups of people react to certain situations, and how families, friends, partners and peers can play different roles in every day life. We have advice sections found mindlessly scrolling in the format of motivational videos, which might involve a dog talking, or a cartoon depicting some of our tragicomic moments in our routine. Professional therapists have a presence on social media. Public speakers are a different bunch. The former investigate things like trauma, medication, symptoms of disease, treatments available, habits that can change your day for the better, or your child’s or parents’. The latter want you to succeed in your ventures, whatever they might be. They’re there to give you strength and hope, and play an important role pushing you forward when nobody else is doing it; and for this reason, they’re well spread across the internet, giving all sorts of speeches, some as best-sellers of self-help books, some doing talks and podcasts, or just posting. Whatever be the case, we all want to think that someone on the internet might help us with our problem, but not everyone is willing to listen. Acknowledging that you have a problem is a good start. That’s what I was told in therapy. In a more profound way, they also said that “when the mouth speaks, the body heals”. I learned that my depression would come later in my life, because what I was feeling was rage and confusion, and that needed to be controlled. Then I felt the effects of the many medications I’ve taken in my life. My body started to work in a different way. And I had to understand that, in order to keep living my life and knowing what was going on, what I could or couldn’t do. I met people along the way, heard countless stories, some of them in fragments, and piece by piece, my experience became a study case, along with several others. People on the internet suffer from stress, anxiety, depression, feelings of unwantedness or unworthiness, lack of motivation, among others. The remedies of social media came to try to fill in the gaps, but it’s always good to count with professional help, in a proper environment, with proper assistance. Not everything can be done online, and that is a hard lesson. If you have something difficult to talk about, save it to your therapist, not post about it on social media. You won’t be regretting your decision. But in case it’s too late, you have your presence to manage. People will be aware, and will pay more attention. That’s a potential problem for you to solve. Depending on how you express yourself, they might even have a problem with you, given a misinterpretation of facts. It’s important to be clear and fair, when talking about interpersonal issues on the web. If you can avoid saying names, it’s better. It’s just not a good idea to post that your partner disappointed you today. But many people do, through the posts they share taken from other people, in subliminal messages. Someone else’s words become theirs. And you have to learn to separate. It’s hard to tell when someone is really okay, not doing well or just making their social media more active out of a sense of obligation. But it’s crucial that we look at this question with more nuanced data, and find out how we can move forward with ethics and a good roadmap of how to handle certain situations.

Man is not born evil: society corrupts him. The web is safe, but there are some bad actors.

The idea that your information is secure online is seen at a very skeptical light by the public. Everyone’s seen a scam, spam accounts, fake news, defamatory posts, unwanted interactions and the like. But we still populate environments where visibility is augmented by the use of tools that make our posts public and potentially commented on by random people, who might be hiding their real identity, might be part of a group of artificially generated users by some kind of network of engagement and just ill-intentioned, bad-humored people who just want to pick a case with you. Anything you say is under scrutiny. But it shouldn’t be like that. We shouldn’t live our lives in fear of constant surveillance. We should, rather, expect violent behavior to be treated according to cohesive moderation practices, be able to control who makes a contact with us, and be hopeful that we are seen by the right people, because the technology has way surpassed the level of simply listing out who the users are. It is possible to connect people with their interests and instantly make them active in their most prioritized communities, but apparently we need to do some digging to find them. Search capabilities are not very good, and recommendations are dictated by algorithms that were manufactured and designed to maintain a certain status quo — and if you haven’t noticed, please start paying attention, and being critical, without turning to partisan issues if you can. Content aside, the technicalities that involve connection are how we share data with websites and apps, consent to terms of use, give access to our files, cameras, microphones, contacts, calendars, location and history of sent and received emails, subscription lists, notification settings, like history, browsing history and username count, all with the click of a button. Not to mention that our conversations and even our video calls are passible of transcription and copy, and our own materials are automatically uploaded to the cloud, without an ask. The history of where we worked is something we choose to display about us, to tell people who we are, but these items end up being in the hands of marketing personnel, who control our reputation and want us to do as told, way after we’ve left workplaces and regardless of our contribution being positive or negative. We can’t say negative things about companies: they don’t like it. We use banking on our phones. We even trade fake money, and brag about it, some of us. What should be done is to create a system where the user’s data is protected from abusive actors, which are mostly megacorporations, but can be minor players, like a server host or a consulting service, not to mention the HR websites that judge whether or not we’re a good fit for whatever company we’re applying for this time, in a highly competitive work landscape. Telling personal stories isn’t seen in a good light: it reveals too much about you, and people will abuse this. Mentioning people isn’t good either: they’re going to be spotlighted, and potentially harness unwanted attention. Maybe pictures of your dog are fine, but post your face and watch the AI tools recreate it, without freckles or pimples, somewhere different in the world. You might be pictured doing things you never did, and who knows: with the advancements shown to public on Video Gen-AI, you might be confused with someone who did terrible, if that information is used by people you never intended to share info with. The challenges are many, not just the security of your devices; and become more problematic as younger generations are involved, with increasing literacy, but a very, incredibly questionable ethics on how to proceed when their reputation is involved, because the stakes are different for them. It’s our mission to educate them well, and to pave the way for a secure and fun internet where positive things can happen if we organize the right way, and pay a little bit of attention to developments in technology, the center of today’s capitalist world, unless we want a completely different model.