Imagine if you had a daughter who dated a guy who was into metal. You listened to English synth pop when you were young, so you were very reluctant to accept that this long haired dude was going to change her life for the better. But more on that: she was just 15. Never mind that he was younger, and didn’t smoke weed because he wasn’t cool. He learned how to drink, it might be a good fuck. You let him in. And you offer the shittiest mac and cheese, but the cheese is Dutch. You slice potatoes in cubes, and you fry them. You call them the “fucked potatoes”, and you win his heart forever. But the dad is a abusive alcoholic who spends all his money on beer and cigarettes, and doesn’t even pay the water bill, which is, for some reason, on his daughter’s name. She doesn’t speak to him, because of his addiction. I’ll let you think for a second: who’s better off?

When it comes to comparing things, Barack Obama has been very successful on the DNC convention. There are certain inanimate objects that gained attention of internet specialists over the past decade, notably the eggplant and the cucumber. But we like it spicy here: jalapeños, the food that the Mexicans brought to the United States of America that’s made by rapists (they stick a fork in the pepper, shoot their shot and you have the most craved for cream cheese on the planet), together with mojitos, a drink made with French gin, if you’re fancy, and spearmint, which is used a lot for toothpaste. Not to confuse with cocaine, we should alert the truck drivers. And you know the combination makes your throat go crazy.

That’s right, you heard it: the S&P 500 is out of control. Nvidea is skyrocketing, Tesla is floating above the Earth, and DOGE, well, is still a dog who could use a better owner. Is he dead? Nobody knows. DOGE can’t eat jalapeños. He’s old now. He needs some special food to treat motion disease. His legs are shaky and he’s having spasms. The daughter thinks the vet would be too expensive, but listening to another chick on the internet, who happens to live in a farm and take care of animals for a living, would be insane. The mother never even heard about her. Only saw the Murphy’s Red Ale bottle on the kitchen shelf, which she decorated with flowers, the orchids that would be cut off by some butcher, and later, the cats would be featured on Instagram but destroy the glass composition. Yeah, the dog died. The father did too, but he was listening to the drunk old men in the neighborhood, not his daughters. One of the sons had a lot of respect for him. “You should see the pictures of him fighting”. A great kicker. Imagine the pounds. Avid reader! Four kids, and a strong family that’s been portrayed in songs that nobody noticed were made for them. The daughter is old enough now to learn what her kinks are, but when she was about 25, she recorded a blowjob video. A shame it didn’t make it to Pornhub. I would’ve appreciated the title.

So with the Futures positive, what we can expect is an economy of more AI for HR, but there are thoughts spread out on the internet. I keep saying internet, but around here, people care really deeply about the homeless people and the Indigenous, but also Quilombolas, both cultures that were repressed in different ways in history. Land is taboo. Forget about deepthroat. They already control your body, and if you say something there are two options: a meme of you eating a burger or being called a pig. Sexual harassment is the new black. Except when Black people do it, it’s pop culture.

Whenever you turn the TV on and people are talking about ongoing wars, think about values. Because the Saudis spent money with Neymar, and you should always remember that. He didn’t even fucking play. Values like patriotism are inconsistent with reality. People are so obsessed with age gaps that they forgot that social gaps exist, and they happen to be brutal. So take that in. I write this with the aid of 5 dollars. Thankfully, now we can search for the assets of a company and find out. Do this with a marketing agency, or look up how much a candidate made in campaign donations. You’ll see that money matters, but the narratives… they’re conveniently forgotten, because everyone has a secret they’re terrified of being discovered. And it’s not that your password is literally your instrument.